I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
