Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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