just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
