So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
