her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
