I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize