plz talk dirty to me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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