how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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