I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize