Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
PANTIES FOUND
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
