U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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