Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
