And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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