So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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