dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everclear isn't food dammit
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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