We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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