i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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