wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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