her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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