Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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