I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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