I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
