He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize