Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures