I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night