You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.