I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.