i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its about making memories worth repressing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED