Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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