Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm too high and old for this...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
