Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This toilet bowl is my home.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
