Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
