im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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