sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
