I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"