You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.