well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
