Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
