what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
