i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
