I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
