Me too!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
