I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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