the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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