im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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