Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
