btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
