Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
