I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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