The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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