I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
