I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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