Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
