i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
