ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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