I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
