You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
