very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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