So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
