Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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