oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
