I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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