I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
