Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
