but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What a dumb baby whore.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
