We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
