what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
