shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
what is it with giant penises always finding me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
