No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
